“Resistance is futile!” While Star Trek fans will recognize this warning, it should not be a part of dog training. Resistance should be recognized as an important message that can help us do better on behalf of dogs and other animals in our care. If we ignore or (worse still!) fight any resistance we may encounter, we will have missed an opportunity for deeper understanding and trust. And when it comes to our clients, turns out that the same basics apply to them as well.
Educator Cindy Gaddis might be talking about animals in her excellent article on understanding resistance as communication.
Writing about children, Gaddis identifies some of the possibilities for resistance in a learner:
- Not teaching at optimal time for learning
- Mis-match teaching vs learning styles
- Disinterested
- Not teaching me in a way that I can understand
- Not comfortable/ doesn’t feel safe
- “I don’t have the skills necessary to accomplish the thing you are asking of me.”
- “I don’t have the communication skills necessary to let you know what I need to make this work for me.”
- “I’m afraid to fail.”
Whether it’s a dog or a human, at some point, you will meet resistance. It’s hard not to take this personally. One of my Elemental Questions is “Can you . . .?” We are asking if the dog is physically, mentally and emotionally able to do what it is we are asking of them. Resistance is one way a dog can let us know, “no, sorry, I cannot do that.”
It becomes easier if you can view resistance as a meaningful communication. Resistance can mean “not interested” or “overwhelmed!” or “bored” or “confusing” or “scary.” When we meet resistance, we need to step back and ask why they are resisting. Do we need to add value? to clarify? to switch to something else? to lower our expectations? go slower? build skill or a foundation? or just let it go? What is getting in the way of the dog learning?
The human end of the leash can also offer resistance, and for the same reasons. Sometimes, in our eagerness to communicate all we know and understand about dogs, we provide all the information and miss our client’s eyes glazing over. Too much, too fast, and possibly far more than the client wants – or needs! – to know. Remember: when the red light in the dashboard comes on when we’re driving, very often we only want to know what we should do or how to make it go away. We’re not interested in the complexities of physics or the internal combustion engine, even if our local mechanic finds all that stuff riveting. If you find a client who wants to dive deep, then by all means, pull up a chair and dive in!
